3 Simple, Research-Backed Ways to Deepen Your Connection with Your Child

Anjali Kariappa Chengapa | 3 minute read

In the busyness of parenting, it’s easy to miss out on the subtle signals our children send us every day. But connection doesn’t require hours - it needs presence.

Here are three small but powerful, research-supported ways to strengthen your bond with your child.

What to do:

Spend some quiet moments watching your child without intervening. Notice how they play, solve problems, or interact with others.

• What does their body language tell you?
• Do they seem confident, hesitant, curious?
• What choices are they making?

Observation helps us understand a child’s emotional and cognitive world. When we observe before reacting, we respond with empathy rather than assumption. It helps us understand the temperament of our children - what are they naturally inclined towards, what are their strengths and where do they need help.

Research insight:

Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child emphasizes “serve and return” interactions - responding to a child’s cues with attuned attention - as critical to brain development. Observation sharpens our ability to notice those “serves.” Serve and return interactions are like a round of tennis where there are responsive, back-and-forth exchanges between a young child and a caring adult. The adult responds to the verbal and non-verbal cues they notice from the child. This builds a caring and nurturing environment for the child and it plays a key role in shaping brain architecture. (Harvard Center on the Developing Child, 2017)

What to do:

Notice how your child interacts - eye contact, turn-taking, empathy, or avoidance. These small cues speak volumes about their comfort, confidence, and emerging social skills.

• Do they make eye contact?
• Are they able to take turns in conversations?
• Do they seem to enjoy or avoid social settings?

Social skills are not just “nice-to-have” - they’re essential for emotional well-being, school adjustment, and future life outcomes.Social skills are directly linked to long-term success - not just academically, but in relationships and overall well-being. Social skills are key to healthy relationships. Spotting early patterns helps you support your child’s growth in real-world settings - whether it’s through role play, modeling, or just talking about what happened. With the excessive use of technology many children struggle or are uncomfortable with in-person interactions.

Research insight:

According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL), strong social-emotional skills help children navigate challenges, build relationships, and make responsible decisions. Eye contact, listening, and interpreting body language are foundational to this. (CASEL, 2023) A 20-year longitudinal study published in The American Journal of Public Health found that children with strong social-emotional skills in kindergarten were more likely to succeed in education and employment by age 25. Skills like cooperation, empathy, and the ability to relate to others were powerful predictors of long-term success. (Jones, Greenberg, & Crowley, 2015)

What to do:

Just 20 minutes a day of distraction-free time - no phone, no multitasking. Most importantly let your child lead the play or conversation with no agenda from your side. The amount of connection, bonding and insight you glean about your child is heartwarming.

Why it matters:

This consistent presence reassures your child that you are emotionally available. It builds trust and strengthens your connection. Humans are social and emotional beings and children crave physical touch and presence. There is no other bigger gift than being physically present with our children. This regular “special time” creates emotional safety and tells your child: “You matter. I’m here. I’m listening.”

Research insight:

Psychologist Dr. Laura Markham (Aha! Parenting) highlights that even short periods of consistent, focused time can increase a child’s cooperation and reduce emotional outbursts. Consistency builds connection. (Markham, L., 2012)

Final Thought:

Parenting doesn’t need perfection. It needs presence. By observing, tuning into social cues, and carving out undivided time, you’re not just managing behavior - you’re building lifelong trust & relationship.